08 May 2005

SteveUpdate 5-8-05

Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, God’s Word)


Dear ones,

In this cancer journey, there have been many stressful and worrying times. The daily rollercoaster of good days, bad days. The uncertainty this rollercoaster throws into daily schedules. Steve’s slow decline.

I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t worry. I do worry. This monster cancer has shredded our married life, a life we’ve shared together for more than a quarter century. It has meant new roles, new adaptations, new responsibilities. It is knowing that I will be losing my best friend.

Yet if I would stop there and just live in the worry, I would be paralyzed. I wouldn’t be able to run my business. To have friends and to be a friend. To care for Steve.

I wouldn’t be able to live. I would merely exist.

I rage against the “not living.” I want to live! And I do.

What keeps me living is a living God, a heavenly Father, who loves me, who guides me, and who protects me. He speaks to me through His Word, the Bible, and He sustains me through the Sacrament of the Altar. And this same God lifts me up through my many brothers and sisters in Christ, who have been fervently praying for us since Steve’s diagnosis in ’03.

Yes, this cancer journey continues. I don’t know what lies ahead. I don’t know how long we must journey. But I do know that by God’s grace, we will make it.

Love,
Sandie
(Daniel 3:16-18)

**********************************************************

A little about this past week and a half: some days Steve’s chemo fatigue is so bad that all he can do is lie on the couch. Yet he courageously works through it, getting up enough energy so:
  • We can take a friend to dinner for his birthday.
  • He can mow the lawn – the first time since his diagnosis.
  • He can take me to breakfast at Frank’s Diner.
  • We can enjoy a gelato.
  • He can conduct a wedding.

And other days are nearly “pre-diagnosis normal.” Steve can spend half a day working in his office at church, come home to relax and have a normal dinner. My friends, such is our cancer journey. --SE

4 Comments:

At 11:24 PM, Anonymous Vicky Burkett said...

Doc Steve:
I like reading what I call your "sermonettes." I especially liked the one about the importance of the family, that marriage is more than a piece of paper and the reason behind it.

I think of you often and keep all of you in my prayers. I am wondering how Karl is doing through all of this - neither you nor Sandie have mentioned.

I am hoping to come over for a visit soon - now that Jerry and Paulette are back from FL, I could get a visit in with everyone.

If you could choose three things you would really like to do at this stage, what would they be?

Your cousin Vicky

 
At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Karl Eggers said...

Vicky- I think we all have faced this disease with similar emotions but with different outlets. For Dad its getting back to "normal" life like preaching, teaching, what he has done his whole life. For Mom, its pursuing her dreams in her career. I try work as hard as I can to impress my bosses while trying to be a "normal" 21-year old- partying with friends, playing sports and taking trips.

The tough part is balancing being an increasingly independent 21-year old and a child that wants to be there for his family. I am basically on my own, financially and geographically and I would prefer to be in this stage of life. But cancer has forced me to slow down and take care of what really matters in life, family.

Surely your question was directed at Dad but I would like to give my answer too, if you don't mind. My three things that I would really like to do at this stage are: 1. Go on a family vacation just the 3 of us. 2. Graduate from college ASAP. 3. Pamper my mom.

I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers, we ALL need them.

 
At 4:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Karl,

What you said in your post was very touching. Thank you; I e-mailed Vicky, letting her know.

On another topic, your dad & I read the letters you wrote us. We cried. Thank you. Both he & I will write back to you soon. You deserve a response.

Just know, son, we both love you very, very much. Always will, no matter what.

Love,
Mom

 
At 12:41 AM, Anonymous Vicky said...

Karl, Sandie and Steve,

It is the wee hours and I'm buried in reading for tomorrow's classes, response paper and quizzes - one class is Communication Theory and the other is Gender Issues in Education. Both interesting and thought provoking, but the more I learn regarding gender issues in education, the madder it makes me.

Thank you for your response Karl, it was heartfelt and I too cried.
I like how you prioritized the three things you'd like to do at this stage, and I especially hope that #1 will be possible for the three of you. Rest assured you are a well-loved son. Your parents have good reason to be proud of the man you have become and they should know that whatever may come, you will be alright. Like my own sons, you all have had a wonderful foundation of love, faith, and strength from your family that will see you through your lives.

I too am wishing I could graduate and begin the next phase (grad school) but that will come when the time is right.

I know you will be there for your Mom and I am sure she would love a little pampering - we Moms all do.

Take care of yourself Karl and know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers also. Thanks Sandie and Steve - same goes for the two of you.

Love, Vicky

 

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