29 May 2005

SteveUpdate 5-29-05

That is why we are not discouraged. Though outwardly we are wearing out, inwardly are renewed day by day. Our suffering is light and temporary and is producing for us an eternal glory that is greater than anything we can imagine. We don't look for things that can be seen but for things that can't be seen. Things that can be seen are only temporary. But things that can't be seen last forever.
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18, GW)

Dear ones,

Today I’d like you to hear from a much more learned and talented writer than I, C.S. Lewis.

I am progressing along the path of life in my ordinary contentedly fallen and godless condition, absorbed in a merry meeting with my friends for the morrow or a bit of work that tickles my vanity today, a holiday or a new book, when suddenly a stab of abdominal pain that threatens serious disease, or a headline in the newspapers that threatens us all with destruction, sends the whole pack of cards tumbling down. At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happinesses look like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that my true good is in another world, and my only real treasure is Christ. And perhaps, by God’s grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing its strength from the right sources.
(The Problem of Pain, Chapter 6)

Within these past weeks, Steve continues to decline. Even he notices it now. And each day brings more uncertainty.

When a friend asked me how Steve was doing, as he often asks, I answered him in an uncustomarily scattered fashion. Ed then perceptively replied, “Steve is getting worse, isn’t he?” I had to admit he was right. I thought about this some more and the next day I e-mailed Ed with further explanation. I said, What my head has long accepted, my heart denies. This phrase, dear ones, succinctly tells my present state.

Yes, it is much my present state, but not completely. To end this “SteveUpdate” here would not give you the entire story. So I’ll continue.

Wednesday night we saw the new Star Wars movie, Revenge of the Sith. Although not one of Lucas’ best efforts, for us it made a wonderful outing. We did something normal. Something we’d enjoyed many, many times before Steve got sick. It was a fabulous escape. And a lovely time to treasure.

Then Friday night . . . oh, Friday night! We dressed in evening wear and dined at the Ritz Carlton in Dearborn. (The Ritz was our friend’s suggestion, as it would be an appropriate place to wear my little black dress for Steve. Thank you, Tim!)

The evening began with drinks. Steve had a gin martini; I a wonderful single malt, 12-year Macallan, straight.

From there, Steve enjoyed a rich white clam chowder; I puree of roasted fennel.

Then came a gift from our chef: we each received a delicate morel stuffed with truffle and foi gras, and bathed in a rich beef glace´.

Our entrees were a dry-aged New York strip, rare, for Steve; a sautéed Dover sole accompanied by beurre blanc for me.

Coffee and dessert followed: a rich chocolate cake swimming in chocolate sauce for Steve; a petite chocolate soufflé topped with a petite scoop of vanilla ice cream for me.

To conclude dinner, we enjoyed an after-dinner sweet white wine, lighter than a cordial but heavier than a dinner wine, compliments of our server. (A fantasy evening and we have the pictures to prove it.)

Dinner at an elegant restaurant is something we have enjoyed rarely but cherish dearly, especially these days.

Love, in Christ,


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